Today was my last visit to Baby Club. I never thought I'd be attending right up until the last week of my maternity leave, but there it is. Next Thursday I'll be setting up my room at school and the day after that I'll be teaching again. Rock and roll, baby.

What surprises me most about today is that I really regret giving up the weekly trek. There was a time in the fall when I dreaded Thursdays because it was a long trip for an uncertain result. (Some weeks no one at all showed up. That was really demoralizing.) But in there's been a resurgence of interest under Beith's leadership and I couldn't be happier to drop in when I'm not running the show. (Plus, Lane & Opera Sarah have become BC regulars, so I get to see them semi-regularly. You know that rocks.) Taking Blake to BC used to be a drag because he was clearly the oldest and I was insecure about not moving on already. With Beith running the show, Blake feels like an elder statesman and I feel like a valued source of practical experience.

(Is that creepy? It's not like I roam around looking for young groups so that I can feel competent. It's more like mothering is such a hard job that positive feedback should be treasured no matter what the source.)

After BC (and another goodbye to Hectate, whom I will miss terribly until I become pregnant again), I ran off to see Stacy for lunch. I've been missing her like crazycakes over the last few months and it was really good to be alone with her (and Blake the Sqirminator, of course). I was proud of myself for not crying until the very end of the lunch. Go me.

Blake has begun a new phase of our breastfeeding relationship. I previously considered myself a "breastfeed on demand" mom. Now that he can tug at my shirt and slur, "nurse!" he's really putting the demand back in demand feeding.

(Last night at bedtime I lay down with him in the hopes of luring him to sleep. We had an entire conversation with the few words he knows: "Nurse!" "No." "Nurse!" "No." (softly, pensively) "Nooooo." "No." "Nooooo. Mummy?" "Yes?" "Mummy?" "Yes?" "Daddy. Daddy. Nurse." "No." "Nooooo.")

I feel so sorry for the little guy: finally able to ask for his most pressing need and I'm going to take it all away next week when I go back to work. I suppose he can pester me all he likes on the weekend.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 1/27/2005 02:43:00 p.m.