September 19, 2008
a reader asks:

Did I miss something? Tell us about your new relationship! Is it with Mason?

Not that this reply will at all match up with the comment, as I’ve been trying to catch up with my stored backlog, but. Yes. I’m dating Mason.

Just about everyone I’ve seen socially in the past season has seen the two of us together, so it hasn’t exactly been a secret anyway. From the summer afternoon in May when we stumbled across Emily, Dave, Clara & Sheila in the Distillery, the word has been slowly leaking out. In late June at Knit Night, Denny saw Mason kissing my cheek and made an absolute shrieking deal out of it, which was one of those “Denny makes already awesome things even more fun” nights. She insisted on trumpeting the news to everyone who entered, most of whom were not at all surprised (Harlot) and a few who complained that they were the last to know (Rachel H., but don’t worry Rachel – my mom still doesn’t know). People at Bat Masterson are starting to get in on the open secret as well, and I figure it will be yesterday's news in a few months to all but the most oblivious.

I resisted coming out and saying it in public, mostly because of fear. I think I had the irrational fear that the Boy would discover this as published fact and any hope of reconciliation would be scotched. I’m trying to accept that I am not responsible for his desire to come back, and if he doesn’t understand that I would have done anything to keep him, than omitting what’s become fairly obvious from my journal won’t do the trick either.

I also was afraid of what people would say. There wasn’t a lot of time between Mason’s marriage breaking up and our dating (about a month) and there are people at school who have openly speculated that we started having an affair last year. Just knowing that my conduct has been blameless doesn’t seem to be enough – I still worry about how it will appear.

And my mom went completely round the bend when she found out last spring. She made a huge scene that had way more to do with her anxieties about Blake and her own experience as the child of divorce than about me. It was pretty awful, and I promised to stay alone until more time had passed. This is why I started going to see my councilor again, a practice I have since abandoned since I really didn’t have all that much to talk about after 3 or 4 visits. So I’m still sneaking around there.

It feels good to come out here, though. Thanks for asking.


Powered by Blogger

The contents of this site, unless otherwise noted, are copyright Rocketbride 1997-2009.
Don't make me send out the Blake. He doesn't listen to *anyone.*