(Reuters) The peace of sleepy Hogsboro was shattered yesterday at mid-morning when a powerful explosion ripped through the hill-top area. The site of the explosion was the local high school, and houses as far as 2 kilometers in every direction felt the punishing concussion of the blast. Sources in the school blame the blow-up on a terrible grammar lesson taught by one Rocketmom (28), who recently returned to the teaching staff after an extensive maternity leave.

"We could tell something was wrong when she started parsing sentences," said one student who witnessed the lesson flame-out at close quarters. "She'd told us that she wasn't taught grammar in school, and that we'd be 'learning together.' Other kids were asking so many questions that she got flustered. That's when she started making mistakes."

The student went on to say that although he drifts through most lessons without participating or even listening, he felt obligated to raise his hand and point out that Rocketmom had just identified a noun as a verb. "She knew it was over then."

Other students began laughing as Rocketmom's confidence slipped away. "She was laughing too," said another student. "At least she didn't freak out or cry."

"It didn't seem like a big deal to her," said another. "We like it when she explains things. Other teachers won't do that."

"The sentences looked nice when they were decorated," comments another. "Even if they were decorated wrong," he added with a smile.

Not all students enjoyed the massive destruction of their teacher's competence. "It was awful. She started going on about adjectives and adverbs," reports one student. "I just tuned her out. Blah blah blah." The student, who was sent to the office for insolence, asked not to be identified.

Hogsboro High has released a statement to parents, students, and affected members of the community that reads in part,

"Obviously we knew that the consequences of under-preparation could be severe, but we never anticipated such a complete knowledge breakdown on the part of a staff member. All precautions will be taken in the future to minimize explosions of this nature. Rocketmom has been reprimanded and will remain on probation until she can prove that she is preparing thoroughly for her lessons and has given up talking out of her ass most of the time. We regret any fear, property damage or indecent hilarity this incident may have caused."

Rocketmom had refused all interview requests as of press time.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 3/09/2005 08:00:00 p.m.