Hello from the Land of Imagined Slipcovers. (That sentence alone should give you a good clue as to my state of mind on this second day without a car.)

I finally made it to the other baby exercise class this morning. I'd signed up for it last week, but it's held at 9 a.m. (yeeps!) and if the Blake wants to sleep past 8:30 I certainly won't wake him. So I enlisted my mother for support, promising her a concurrent Aquafit class if she wanted to come out with us. This morning she was ready to go before I even opened my eyes. In direct consequence, I went to the gym in my pyjamas (a tank top & a pair of cotton lounging pants, if it makes you feel any better).

The class was terrible. It wasn't the instructor's fault. Blake was the oldest baby in the room, and the only one mobile. This meant that I had to spend most of my time pulling him away from tiny babies lying on mats and their scintillating toys. In my other class I don't bother with this police work, as I know the moms well enough to know which ones are truly okay with Blake's grabby hands and which ones need to be across the room so their precious offspring will not be polluted by my grubby oaf. In this class I was next to a woman who huddled protectively over her toys as soon as Blake turned his head in their direction. I didn't even think about letting him touch their blanket.

I try to reserve judgement. I really do. I just assume that this mother watched her town struck down by infectious diseases spread by a goobery baby. Or that she's a public health nurse with a stick up her ass. Or a first time mother, which often amounts to the same thing. (Hey, I was one too!)

But even when I try to be tolerant, that doesn't alleviate the stress of trying to exercise while chasing my child through a tiny room with too many forbidden distractions. Blake was awfully frustrated, poor guy, and I had to leave part-way through so that both of us could master our tempers. We paused at the window to the pool and he waved forlornly to his grandma, who looked like she was having the time of her life in her class. Good on her.

Luckily for Blake, we were able to take him into the pool right after the Hour of Forbidden Toys, so he was able to work through some tension with a little well-timed splashing. He's an awfully joyful baby given half the chance. And I'm grateful, especially today when I've been crying for Monstre & Loftwyr's lost baby. I feel a little guilty that my unplanned, giddy rush through childbearing produced such a healthy, happy, beautiful child when so much of their conscious baby-making energy has turned into grief. But mostly I'm just grateful that I have him, today and every day. It's amazing how quickly I get caught up in child-rearing minutia. Days like this remind me that it really doesn't matter when he sleeps through the night, as long as he's sleeping. As long as he's alive.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 9/29/2004 10:43:00 p.m.