I’ve come to the long-overdue conclusion that I only have about 5 minutes of writing lucidity a day, and if I waste it slack-jawed in front of an episode of Trading Spaces, then sister it’s not coming back. Once again I’m stuck in the ass-end of the day, my energy lower than a turtle belly, and I have to wonder why I spent so much precious free time with a book in front of my face. The Boy & I have been arguing a great deal lately and I can’t figure out if it’s due to my constant hunger, constant fatigue, constant hormonal trainwreck (my red tag days have come back after more than a year), or constant frustration at all the narrative building uselessly in my head. Constant constant constant constant. Ba-boom. It all batters at me and I take it out on my Boy which is just about the stupidest thing I could do, really.

And yet – it’s been a magical set of days, really. Blake & I have been exploring our boundaries and liking each other very much. We moved the bed into the corner this weekend, and it’s like we widened it a foot. Suddenly daddy can fit in the bed again and I get a little more relief in the mornings! Blake has progressed from pivoting to creeping to scooting and nothing is safe from his wee hands and enormous curiousity. He zooms across the rug like a baby possessed, and the new sport in my house is to lie next to him and watch him go nuts.

His hands are utterly fascinating to him. I think that he’s only just now realized that they can be used for all kinds of tricksy purposes. Every once in awhile I catch him staring intently at one hand as he rotates it delicately up, then down, up, then down. He performs little things over and over, like gently pulling the curled ribbons on his turtle until they’re straight. Also, he started CLAPPING yesterday. It was utterly and completely amazing. One moment he’s the wiggly little worm we all know & love – energetic but largely purposeless - and the next he’s moving his arms in huge sweeps, missing the hands more often than not but every once in awhile connecting his open palms in a big meaty thud. I actually caught it on camera…first time in a long time that I’ve had the old cam out. I think I’ll regret that missing chunk later. For now it’s all fireworks & gingerbread.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 6/18/2004 09:43:00 p.m.