The Boy tells me that one of the reasons Charles Schultz hated the name "Peanuts" was because people thought it was the name of the main character. He apparently used to receive fan mail that praised "the strip where Peanuts is talking to his dog...(etc.)" What really bothered him was the idea that self-respecting parents would name their child Peanuts.

Heh. Peanuts! Thank God we haven't applied for a birth certificate yet. That's the name I've been waiting for all year! Every time I think about it I cackle uncontrollably.

Peanuts. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Today was a busy day for us. Actually, it wasn't all that busy in terms of events or accomplishments, but it was busy because we're settling in from the weekend, and this little bit of unpacking adds to all of the other domestic duties interrupted by our minivacation. Also, I'm wicked depressed. Don't know if it's comparing myself to a party full of pretty people unattached to a tiny drooling dependant, if it's coming back to the Cave after an independent overnight, if it's a natural dip in my postpartum emotional trail, or if it's just a reflection of Blake's teething angst. Anyway you slice it, I feel incredibly heavy & useless. I'm questioning all of the choices that brought me here and subjecting the Boy to endless late night relationship inventories.

Yup. It's all fun, all the time.

I did take a petty pleasure in eavesdropping on mothers at the Early Years Centre. It's stupid & counterproductive to listen to conversational fragments & make negative judgements on the quality of their mothering...but I did. And it made me feel better. I may be dumpy, I may live in my parents' basement, I may be in thrall to a wee wordless dictator, and I may be hopelessly hormonally loony tunes, but at least I can entertain my baby for 3 hours straight without props of any kind. That's pretty kicking.

I have found some nice moms who are soft in all the places I'm soft; moms who sleep with their babies & breastfeed because they're lazy like me & moms who can't let their wee ones cry it out because they're tender like me. Those moms make me feel like I'm doing just fine. One of them is also in my exercise class, the other used to come to La Leche League meetings...so I'm obviously going to some of the right places to form my local mama tribe.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 4/26/2004 10:57:00 p.m.