baby phone

We do some pretty silly things around here. Tonight the telephone rang as I was playing with Blake. So I pretended to answer the baby. I lifted him up so that I could listen to his belly & talk to his knees. "Hello? Hello? No, we don't need any knees, thank you." Then I hung him up on the floor. Blake thought this was the epitome of wit.

When the phone rang again, the Boy picked up Blake & listened to his babbling mouth. "The problem with the baby phone is that you can't understand what anyone is saying," the Boy concluded.

We have a little program to help us deal with telemarketers. It's just a little script that guides you through a question log and usually derails salespeople. I'm not sure that it's effective, but it makes us feel empowered. Anyway, the Boy decided to answer the baby phone as if it were a telemarketer. Meanwhile, Blake babbled, sucked his fingers & flailed around with his arms.

"Is this a solicitation? Do you have a "do not call" list? Can we be placed on that list?" The two of us began to giggle. Then Blake audibly started pooping. And although I'm not much on body humour, this made it all the funnier.

I'm pretty sure that he'll shake the "poop phone" nickname eventually.

Very good day. We had our second immunization appointment in the morning. Blake was a little superstar: laughing & playing through the measurements and then growing thoughtful during the needle. I was surprised that he didn't cry, but when he's in a good mood, there's not much that can derail him. Conversely, when he wants to be a suck any little thing makes it worse. I wonder where he gets that from.

Once again, our doctor was free with the advice. We're not going to take most of it, especially the stuff about putting him into a crib & giving Blake water at night if he needs to suck. I don't consider his night waking a problem and if it does turn into one then I'm not going to let him cry it out & substitute non-foods for foods. He didn't get to 14 pounds & 5 ounces by drinking water in a cold & lonely crib.

But overall it was a good visit. I liked hearing that his weight gain was healthy, and I liked the advice about starting veggies before fruit, simply because babies like fruit better. Sears wrote in one of his books that the average doctor has no more expertise in infant feeding & sleep habits than your random advice-giver off the street, so you don't have to treat every word from the doctor as carved in stone. I get the sense that my doctor is just one of those people who likes order & schedules, and she parents accordingly. I rarely brush my teeth before noon, so I have to parent in a way that's comfortable for me.

Due to this appointment, I was late for my first day as El Presidente of Baby Club. What freaked me out was that they waited for me. Eeep. I think that the discussion went really well, although I had to try really hard to hang back & not make a comment on every topic. The problem with teaching teenagers is that you get a little too used to filling half the airtime; that doesn't so much work with informed & talkative adults. And I just have to learn that not everything is about me & Blake. (Just this webpage. And it should be enough, except that I want to conquer all with my narcissism! Yeargh!)

After Baby Club proper, we went out for sandwiches at our traditional watering hole. I think our love affair with that restaurant is ending soon; they were very snippy about strollers and the general mood is not a happy one. We're steady weekly customers and we've dropped hundreds of dollars there. This is just rude. It's unfortunate that we were finally able to cajole Dirk out of his basement office today and he had to witness the end of the line. But then we went to Future Bakery & ate a second lunch, so that was okay.

Dirk held Blake for the first time since the day he was born. It was very cute – or as I stated to his sister Lucretia when she phoned, it was "manly, yet tender."

"That sounds like a steak," complained the Boy.

"Or a deodourant," I countered.

And then, just when you got tired of hearing about my afternoon, it continued at Stephanie's house! We went by to borrow The Baby Book and ended up hanging out for a couple of hours, drinking tea & watching the babies try out Eva's jolly jumper. Blake was okay in it, but he was pretty lost. (He also spit up, like, seven times from the unfamiliar pressure on his belly.) Eva, however, was a little demon. She's been practising for weeks, and she's got the motion just right. We loved watching her sproing around with that little pixie look of mischief on her face.

By the time we got home, we were too tired to function in any reasonable fashion. We all lay down for a quick rest, waking suddenly an hour and a half later. Yep. We're all cranky & tired tonight at the Rockethome. But there's an odd feeling of accomplishment in the air.

Or maybe we're just waiting for the baby phone to ring again.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 4/15/2004 10:49:00 p.m.