I think all of the "bedtime routine" talk is getting to me. Two nights ago I kind of freaked out. It was 11 p.m. I was tired. Blake was angry. And I was convinced that I was damaging my child and myself by not getting him into a nighttime routine in the evening. I looked at Dr. Spock...big mistake. Spock states breezily that any 3-month-old who weighs over 12 pounds should be able to sleep through the night.

Jesus wept.

We're up constantly. Every hour. If it's not him rooting for food, it's me tossing & turning from the pain of lying in one position most of the night. Most nights we can get 6 or 7 hours out of this mess...but we never start earlier than 11 p.m. and never sleep in a stretch longer than 60 minutes. I started weeping uncontrollably when I read this section. The Boy had to take over the night routine at this point.

I don't think that co-sleeping is the problem. I don't think that anything is the problem. I just get tired and worried about the boy and thus vulnerable to ill-fitting utilitarian advice. Which is a problem, but it's my problem and not Blake's.

Scout is staying with us for a few days, so we had the thrill of uncovering a swanky basement behind the careful piles of moving-in boxes. It's getting so big that it's kind of empty. Of course, once clean it soon fills up with blankets, toys, socks, wadded up kleenex, diapers, books, granola bar wrappers, printouts, pen lids, spare change...there is a vortex and it is called my life.

Off to bed before it overtakes me once more.

- 0 comments/hedgehogs -

- Rocketbride's adventure of 3/23/2004 10:27:00 p.m.