Still a bit tired & confused, but maybe I should stop being so damn hard on myself. Took a walk yesterday with the whole family (weird, that suddenly I have a family) and it cleared my head somewhat. I'm pretty sure that parenting is supposed to be about flux and uncertainty, at least in these non-traditional times. I'd set myself a timelimit: 3 months to be depressed, then it should get better. I think it might be best if I stopped beating myself up for beating myself up.

Everyday I get better at being Blake's mom. That's definately something to be proud of. And today I finally plowed through most of the mess on my desk. If I can get rid of the rest of the packing crates in the living room this week, I will be ecstatic...even if I can't decide most moments what I want to do with myself. Or ourselves.

We're starting a bedtime routine tonight. Maybe that will help shape my days a bit.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 3/14/2004 10:56:00 p.m.