first quarter report

Today Blake is exactly 3 months/13 weeks old. This morning as I was getting dressed, I started chattering away to him and thinking about how wonderful he is. I happened to look at the clock, and it was 11:43 – the very minute he arrived on the earth. Very cool.

This weekend we visited Dirk's new cousin, who is 10 days old, and her older brother, who is 2 years old. Blake was the middle baby, caught between a very verbal, active toddler & a very placid newborn. I had forgotten that newborns don't really do much of anything. When Blake was born, I thought he was more exciting than a ferris wheel, but now I understand why his every newborn flutter & nap wasn't covered by a team of international news reporters. The most exciting moment was when this tiny girl sneezed – she made the same 'aohhhhh' noise that Blake does. Blake's been doing it since he got here, too.

So what's different about him this month? He fell in love with a toy a few days ago. Scout gave us a soft undersea mobile for Christmas, and we set him up in the car seat. He is just as infatuated with the mobile octopus as he is with his mirror turtle (i.e. Blake TV), which is fitting since they seem to come out of the same stuffed animal phylum. Of course, his infatuation with both of those interesting animals lasts for 10 minutes at the absolute most, so there's not much danger that he'll stop wanting us around. I kind of like being his favourite toy, although that feeling fluctuates according to how much sleep I got the night before.

And check out that social smile. I can't believe how much personality he has compared to when he got here. He just fizzes with it.

And strength! He's enormously strong now. When he flings himself around these days, I can't believe what a flopsy little hand-puppet he was when he was born. He is developing a sort of "dart & strike" series of motions that help him lunge after the breast when he's hungry. That's one thing I'm not too sure I like. But he doesn't suck any more aggressively than he ever has, and he doesn't bite, so I have no real problems (when have I sung that song before?). He can reliably find his hands now, and he even sucks on a thumb when he feels the need. He has an expanded repertoire of vocalizations that perch precariously between random babbling and purposeful speech – and he looks you in the eye when he starts chattering, which is awesome and a little unnerving.

He smiles like fireworks. He cries like an avalanche.

He's such a cool little dude. I can't believe that it's only been 3 months since he got here. I feel like he's always been waiting in the wings, just picking his moment with style. As Miri said, "this baby solved a lot of your problems. This baby is a blessing." Yep. He's an incomprehensible blessing in footed pyjamas.

Blakers has the most intoxicating feet I've ever come across. They are wonderful.

The boys.

I'm trying to think of something that's just about me and I can't do it. I miss my friends something fierce, but I'm getting resigned to the lonely life here in the suburbs. On my best days I can make do without despairing. On my worst days I don't know who I am, but I'm desperate to be someone else.

Today the Boy & I made a chicken pot pie for dinner. It's taken 3 full months, but I finally feel able to cook & clean & launder again. I mean, as much as I ever did.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 3/08/2004 10:44:00 p.m.