It's amazing how moments define themselves with a newborn. My whole sense of time - or more accurately, my whole appreciation of time - has completely changed. Right now Blake is sleeping. The Boy is sleeping. I've just eaten my favourite cereal & my belly is quiet. There's a load of diapers in the wash. I have a glass of pure fruit juice. This may last a minute or it may last an hour.

I never realized what a rush it could be to live entirely in the moment. Buddhists must get more kicks than I thought.

(And with that, he awakes.)

I finally got to the doctor today - or, more accurately, I finally got to a clinic as my doctor is on vacation this week. The doctor who examined me had no idea what might be the trouble...his best bet was a bladder infection, but I've had one of those and it doesn't feel like I've felt. Anyway, I'll get some test results back next week, but I mostly did the tests to make him happy. I can afford to do this for him because I haven't felt a paralyzing cramp since New Year's Eve. (Cramps no more in 2004!!) But I'm pretty sure I made it worse for myself that night by holing up in the bathroom and allowing myself to hyperventilate in a tiny space that contained 2 large scented candles.

While we're on the topic, New Year's Eve was very fine. We picked up Dirk & took him to Neil & Lane's house for food, video games and conversation. Blake-dor was much admired by all: the Boy got to show off his newfound babynerd knowledge, and I got to tell my labour story to 3 interested boys (!). Stacy & I took advantage of quiet nursing periods away from everyone to talk & admire the baby (this is, by the way, the very best reason to go off alone to nurse: all your favourite people come to you while you rest & beatifically feed the baby. Absolute body confidence, secrets, love & low lighting. There is nothing that tops it.)

We got home at 11:30 & I immediately changed back into my pajamas. Blake nursed through the year change, although I broke the suction long enough for the both of us to kiss him at midnight. It lacked glitter, loud music, intoxicating substances, swanky & unusual outfits, intrigue, crowds of well-wishers & dazzling feats of talent. I was still suffering through cramps that pained a medium amount without a good reason.

It was a perfect New Year's Eve. I'm not sure if my standards have plummeted or been elevated beyond all measure.

- 0 comments/hedgehogs -

- Rocketbride's adventure of 1/02/2004 06:23:00 p.m.