Over the past week I have been bombarded with information on one topic: reusable menstruation products. Of the 4 magazines I bought (Bust, Bitch, Utne Reader & Shameless), the latter two have prominent articles on the many product permutations and the others run large ads for Lunapads and sea sponges. Yesterday Monstre wrote an entry that mentioned the cup. Today I was in the bathroom at Future Bakery and was entertained by flowery graffiti enjoining me to love the earth, love myself & hate those damn tampons n' pads.

The universe appears to be shouting at me. If I actually menstruated, I think I'd be a little more concerned. Good old lactation amenorrhea.

I am on the point of chucking my moderator's gig at Baby Club. It's just getting to be a bit too much – the early hour, the long commutes, the declining membership. I used to like the fact that moms with younger babies were joining every week, but since the older babies have also dropped out, Blake hulks over these little scraps like a Titan. I don't have a peer group any more, at least not one with similarly-aged babies to whom I can take my issues & gripes. And since Blake is a baby on the loose, I have to spend an inordinate amount of time pulling him away from younger babies and dangerous situations. It wouldn't be so bad if even one of the babies was cruising like Blake, but he's all alone in there.

And so, I've come to realize, am I.

My one caveat is that I still get a huge charge out of some of the moms & babies I've come to know over the last year. The few remaining faithful make me very happy. I'm just not getting enough out of that particular charge anymore.

Solid food continues to be a challenge in my house. My parents have become solid-food lobbyists, watching the clock obsessively and reminding me several times a day to make sure that Blake has at least three feedings of various kinds of mush. Blake doesn't cotton to mush. He likes fruit, and he likes to chew on big people food, but he plays dumb when rice cereal & puréed vegetables enter the picture. I find solid food sessions tiring, boring & futile, which is why I usually subcontract the chore and let my parents go to town with the mush whenever they remind me that it's time. I've been a bit antsy at this loss of control, but as long as they feed him pure foods and don't try to stuff him with solids too close to bedtime, it's a fight I can let go.

After lunch with Dirk today, I spent an entertaining half-hour with Blake in a natural food store, as all of our tiny jars at home had been emptied and I was asked to shop or submit my precious child to my mom's choices. (NOOOOO!!!) Blake rode around the store in my arms, solemnly reaching out for every jar, bottle, box & bag. We settled on five varieties of organic baby food, one new box of organic brown rice cereal, one box of salt-free brown rice crackers, two Luna bars (for me) and a small packet of oatmeal "energy" cookies (also for me). I'm such a tool of the natural food industry. It may be loaded up with organic cane sugar and sun-evaporated sea salt, but if it says "organic" I'll buy it, convinced that I'm making a difference in my body & the earth.

With my new organic arsenal, we headed off home for the day. (I must note at this point that lest I come off as a mother above reproach, I spent a good deal of time at lunch finger-feeding Blake the mashed potatoes off my plate. I didn't ask anyone what was in them, I just loaded him up with creamy goodness. I also let him pull himself up on the toilet this afternoon. When he started splashing around in the bowl, we went off to start learning how to wash our hands.)

The interesting thing (well, for me) was that he loved his new Veggie Stew & Brown Rice Cereal. Usually when I feed him he pretends not to know why I'm waving the spoon in his face. He tries to get out of his chair, intercepts incoming food with his hands, and closes his mouth until his little lips disappear. Today he gobbled it all down & looked around for more. I can't wait until he gets a few more teeth & we can move into the morsel stage – so much more fun than the constant will-he-or-won't-he mush stage.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 8/26/2004 09:20:00 p.m.