day 5 I feel like there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding. We’re still breastfeeding, but Blake isn’t gaining ground, so we need to supplement his feedings. We’re doing this by pumping after every feeding and “topping him up” afterward with a little tube and an adult finger. We were supposed to do this 2 or 3 times yesterday, which we did, but it’s still not proving to be enough. At his home visit today, we found out that he hasn’t gained an ounce. So that hated, HATED can of pre-made formula is being used to top up whatever I pump to 60 cc and that’s going into him after every feeding. As soon as my supply catches up with our demand, we can dispense with the formula altogether, but until then, we have to use it in addition to the breast pump. We’re renting a mechanical pump, BTW. Pumping for 20 minutes at a time is making me wicked light-headed. It’s like trying to fill up an air-mattress again & again & again – and that’s a job I ALWAYS subcontract to the Boy. I’m incredibly frustrated right now. I’ve always been the kind of person to give up on anything as soon as it gets hard, and the fact that he’s not gaining weight makes me want to curl up & die. The only thing that’s keeping me up & eating & taking care of myself at all is my utter and total love for this baby. He’s an incredibly stubborn little punk and I can’t take a breath without thinking about his little face. But. We had a great night last night: I was able to sleep a good 5 hours in two big bursts and he was as good as gold. I woke up at 6:30 when he started clucking & cheeping in his crib. Yeah, I’ve given birth to a bird.

And now...

Some pictures that Daddy put up

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 12/13/2003 11:05:00 a.m.