My first day of teaching is behind me. God almighty, I feel like a weight has been tied around my neck. It's not that they were out of control - although last period, grade 9's, not a good idea - it's just the thump of all those days, weighing on me, each needing to be set free like a county fair balloon. And the fact that the kids who stayed away were the hell-raisers, but it still sucked without them.

I'm kind of demoralized right now. I've planned out tomorrow and I think I'm just about ready to go in and do it. If I have to. I guess.

The Boy, however, is as happy as a kipper on a cracker. He's managed to get through the first day of teacher's college with no serious mishaps or pratfalls, and he's supremely confident about his assignments. It's kind of nice seeing him zip around the basement; he's excited about the future and I envy that.

The Blake isn't doing all that well with our sudden double-absence. He played cheerfully for most of the day, but when I got home he lay in my arms and cried to nurse long after most of the milk was gone. He's gone to bed now; he cried himself to sleep after a long evening of contented wakefulness. Just kissing his curly wee head makes the weight of all those days just a little more soul-destroying.

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 9/06/2005 08:10:00 p.m.