I've been feeling lonely lately. Part of it is the isolating condition of motherhood; while most of the rest can be chalked up to our suburbantastic locale. In any case I've been pretty low for the last few days and I thought that it was time for something different.

I went to Baby Club as usual and found its membership small but lively (is it coming back? or is it in its dying spasms? only time will tell). Then I went to lunch with Dirk & his co-worker, as it was Dirk's cw's birthday. This was a happy coincidence for me; not only did I get the comfort and security of Dirk-my-lazy-friend, but I also got to practice my social skills with someone kind whom I don't know very well. I think I did okay as there was very minimal Blake talk. As I mentioned during lunch, this is why I read the Utne Reader: so I can talk to my child-free friends about something other than, duh, my child.

Dirk's cw is a well-educated leftist hippie type who's planning to go work on a co-operative farm in South America. I find this ambition fascinating, as it's scholarly, disciplined, altruistic & adventuresome all at the same time. I couldn't help thinking of my brother Nic, who plans to learn Brazilian ju-jitsu during a 6-month sojourn in Brazil starting this February. His plan by contrast is impulsive, disorderly and more-or-less entirely selfish. But adventurous. I have to give him that.

After lunch we drove up to Beth & Leah's house for what I suppose you might call a playdate. Beth had called me a few times this week to offer her house while I hung out in the big city, so we made firm plans for the afternoon. I was a little nervous about the whole thing (hello social insecurity!), but both Blake and I enjoyed ourselves immensely. It was a tremendous relief to just be there with the boo: Beth and her husband have completely babyproofed their lower level so I could plunk Blake on the floor and let him go for hours. He and Leah are very well-matched physically, which meant that neither Beth nor I had to worry about our babies' natural aggression. And like I said, just being in a safe place was a tremendous relief. I love my childfree friends, but I can't totally relax when we visit with the baby because he could come to harm through my inattention. At Beth's house I could look away for a few moments without worrying about any of the terrible outcomes that haunt parents in the middle of the night.

And it wasn't just a relief, it was fun. First, the dancing! Beth put on a reggae tape and Blake started doing the wiggly shuffle he's perfected this week. Then Leah grinned from her spot on the floor and began rocking back and forth. Beth & her husband joined in and everyone was dancing except me. It was rocking.

Second, the crawling! Blake & Leah were cranky pusses when they woke up from their naps, so the other two adults had to distract them while I wolfed my food. At one point, both babies and both adults were racing around hell-bent for leather on their hands and knees.

Thirdly, the eating! We had veggie chilli for dinner, and Blake pigged out on crusts of rye bread from Beth's lap. He ate the little squares sadly, resignedly, like the main character in a 19th century Russian novel. If only his mother wasn't so far away...

And lastly, the conversation! Beth & I spent most of the afternoon talking baby, something that I hunger for in my more isolated moments. We didn't just talk offspring, however; Beth's husband is a sound engineer, so they're both naturally interested in music and other sonic distractions. I couldn't help thinking that the Boy would pass out with joy if he were the one visiting, what with his 4-track and amateur recording efforts on the laptop. I think that there's a real possibility of family friendship there.

Heh. The dreaded family friends. I can just see Blake in ten years, asking if he has to be nice to Leah. I mean, I can't imagine that they wouldn't like each other, but I'm still amused by the mental picture.

Our last stop of the day was Little Spider's Black Lodge for 2 whole garbage bags of LS clothing (mmm...smells like spiders...). She had offered to feed us dinner, but since she doesn't get off work until 5:30, I thought it might be best to put Blake in pj's and plan for a really short visit in case he had a meltdown. As it happened, he woke up when we arrived and pulled out all his A material for the whole of our hour-and-a-half visit. Even Scabby & Spike were charmed by his dancing, his exploring and his blub-blub-blub finger across the lips thing that's so cute you just want to eat him up.

When it was time to go, Coraline & LS took over the important job of getting Blake in his coat. But by the time the four of us got to the Purple Lassitude, the coat was sliding off.

"You're fired!" I pointed.

"He was crying!" they protested. I laughed.

"You're going to have to toughen up – you should see him when I try to change his diaper!"

Heh. They're so cute, those childfree girlies.

Anyway, by the time I came home I was full of giggly good humour. All of my isolation & sadness had burned off and I was ready to face the lonely streets of B-ton with a clear heart. Yay for friends! They're so much better than my enemies.

"I wonder who died? I hope it was one of my enemies. Those guys suck."
- bender

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- Rocketbride's adventure of 11/05/2004 11:36:00 p.m.