lost a week there
In solidarity with the Harlot, I appear to have lost a week. Possible culprits include coming to the end of my last antidepressant prescription, a constant stomach ache that has sapped my energy and robbed me of sleep and simply returning to work after a week of Do As I Please (Sort Of). I remember ditching a dancing outing to go to knit night on Wednesday, and how good that sweet potato burrito went down (although I didn't knit a thing and went home after a mere hour and a half). I remember Parents' Night on Thursday, and how I started a tonne of marking right before (embarrassingly, breaking the seal on my marking procrastination that has been in effect since the start of the semester). That was the night that my stomach pain was at its worst, and I barely slept at all, spending Friday in a state of glassy-eyed exhaustion. I remember waves of deep despair washing over me, sapping my desire to do even the most rudimentary cleaning up after Blake and myself. I remember grimly fighting against those waves, trying to tell myself that they were just the rebound effect of 15 months on a powerful drug that kept me together when I needed it the most. I remember the stomach pain that underlay every moment of hunger, satiety and sleep, a twinge of nausea that kept me away from greasy comfort foods and tight jeans. I remember reading story after story to Blake, and how relieved I was every time his bedtime rolled around as it is the one thing he never fights. I remember Mason's own insomnia, and how hard it was to keep trying to convince him that it was worthwhile getting out of bed in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I wore clothes most, if not all of the time. I know that Blake ate meals on a regular schedule. Other than that, no details are certain.
Today I slept until near noon, then took Blake (who played on his own all morning) for a diner breakfast. This afternoon we have been outdoors, and I have spent a good deal of time on the couch. I can't believe that after 16 hours of sleep, I still feel dizzy when I walk.
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Don't make me send out the Blake. He doesn't listen to *anyone.*